Are you finding it difficult to express a disingenuous affirmation sincerely to a not-so special someone?
Why not choose a passive-aggressive card from the Home Secretary to convey your sanctimonious self-absorbed opinion, leaving the receiver with nothing but the perfect bitter aftertaste of your toxic superiority to forever fester in their sub-conscious?
Select from these topics and their soulless endearments:
Sympathy: ‘I’m sorry if you feel bereaved’
Well done: ‘In recognition of your sense of achievement’
Wedding: ‘Wishing you the happiness together that escaped you alone’
Valentine’s Day: ‘I love the way you love me’
You’re leaving: ‘It’ll be heart-warming for you to feel you’ll be missed’
New house: ‘Hoping this house will be a home.’
Missing you: ‘My thoughts were with you when I picked this card’
New baby: ‘Congratulations! A(nother) miracle for you to be proud of’
Friendship: ‘Only a friend like you would cherish our friendship’
Apology: ‘I believe the word you’re expecting here, is sorry’
Over three hundred thousand, thirty four, and nine hundred and seventy four thousand Code of Conduct-compliant unpleasantries to choose from!
When It’s Kinder To Say Nothing by Priti Patel. ‘No! You’re the bully’
