‘When It’s Kinder To Say Nothing’: Cards by Priti Patel


Are you finding it difficult to express a disingenuous affirmation sincerely to a not-so special someone?

Why not choose a passive-aggressive card from the Home Secretary to convey your sanctimonious self-absorbed opinion, leaving the receiver with nothing but the perfect bitter aftertaste of your toxic superiority to forever fester in their sub-conscious?

Select from these topics and their soulless endearments:

Sympathy: ‘I’m sorry if you feel bereaved’

Well done: ‘In recognition of your sense of achievement’

Wedding: ‘Wishing you the happiness together that escaped you alone’

Valentine’s Day: ‘I love the way you love me’

You’re leaving: ‘It’ll be heart-warming for you to feel you’ll be missed’

New house: ‘Hoping this house will be a home.’

Missing you: ‘My thoughts were with you when I picked this card’

New baby: ‘Congratulations! A(nother) miracle for you to be proud of’

Friendship: ‘Only a friend like you would cherish our friendship’

Apology: ‘I believe the word you’re expecting here, is sorry’

Over three hundred thousand, thirty four, and nine hundred and seventy four thousand Code of Conduct-compliant unpleasantries to choose from!

When It’s Kinder To Say Nothing by Priti Patel. ‘No! You’re the bully’

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2021 by

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