What was supposed to be a Saturday night Chinese takeaway ritual turned into a night from hell for one Braintree family.
The Johnsons of Festive Road were left dazed and confused after Dad, Gary, 49 forgot to his standard Saturday night “Help, I’m being held prisoner inside a fortune cookie factory” joke, instead reading out the actual fortune, “You will shortly amass untold riches.”
Wife, Karen, couldn’t quite believe it. She told our reporter, “I just couldn’t believe it. He’s done that joke every Saturday night for the last 23 years. You think you know someone and then he goes and does this. This isn’t the man I married.”
Daughter, Britney-Mae 14 was equally shocked. “I couldn’t finish my meal,” she sobbed. “It made me sick to my stomach. I told him: You’re not my dad anymore! You’re sick!”
The Johnson’s son, Jayden, 12, told us, “I missed it. I was playing on my phone.”
Gary was unavailable for comment and believed to be staying at his mother’s house.