Rules on being obnoxious to supermarket workers will be eased at the beginning of next month, according to the Chief Medical Officer. It will be legal for two households to harass or generally annoy shop workers during busy periods. Under emergency measures the public have been prevented from insulting frontline shop workers, but from April it will be gloves-off.
Chris Whitty used a government briefing to reminded the public of the 4 levels of shopworker harassment.
Level 1: Mildly patronising
Level 2: Obnoxious and slightly deranged
Level 3: Irrational and offensive
Level 4: You’re fired!
Supermarket workers, who were hailed as frontline heroes at the start of the pandemic, are now seen as ‘fair game’. One socially inadequate shopper said: ‘In what other area of life can I talk to someone like that without being kicked in the balls? I’ve really missed losing my temper when some kid doesn’t know where the Piri Piri sauce is kept.’
Asda has been quick to respond to the changes. Television adverts show a customer tapping their back pocket, saying ‘kiss my arse.’ Tesco have gone with Every Little Yelps, while Marks and Spencer have raised eyebrows with their jaunty new Shut it you Sh-laaag! slogan.
The government has yet to release details of a vaccine passport that allows shoppers to whine loudly and really get in other people’s faces. It is hoped all polite shoppers can return to being obnoxious by late summer.