The UK government will walk away from this year’s Eurovision Song Contest unless it wins, the government has said. Negotiators say it is unfair that we award points to other countries but get none in return. Under WTO terms the UK can enter a rival song contest that promotes cheese and pork exports.
Singer James Newman, a well-known Eurovisionsceptic, said: ‘We send up to 12 points to every Eurovision nation. Those points could go to the NHS instead.’
This year’s UK entry is called Embers, which Newman describes as oven ready and ‘a real banger’. However, critics have called it a boom-bang-a-banger. In fact, it is so bad that some think it stands a chance of winning. The Prime Minister has assured James Newman of his 1% backing.