R-rate up, where R is the number of ways the UK government rogers its citizens

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Lesley Hook is a scientist from Beckenham. ‘We now have to calculate two R numbers. One is the viral rate of infection, and the other is the number of ways the government is rogering its citizens. Frankly, Boris Johnson has been following the science like she’s a woman alone on a dark street. We just can’t tell if it’s going to be verbal abuse, or whether the police are going to be told to come along and manhandle her. Or whether it’s going to be something even worse.’

Jo Harper is a Lawyer from Daventry. ‘It’s a tricky one. Had it been anyone else in any other position, then it would have been a simple question of either wilful negligence or gross incompetence. But because the individual ministers of the cabinet are voted for by the electorate, the presumption is that their decisions take into account the best interests of the country and its people. So no one can touch them. Not that just being touched would be what everyone I know wants for them.’

Kate Bailey is a psychologist from Manchester. ‘When we examine the actions of the Prime Minister, we can see a pattern which maps very closely to other figures from history. He has a deep seated desire to emulate leaders whose names are still widely remembered. Unfortunately for the rest of us, those happen to be the leaders who killed the most people.’

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2021 by

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