Mr Zeus of Olympus Mons, Greece, is accused of numerous acts of “a sexual nature” with numerous women, both mortal and divine.
“That god is a philanderer of the worst kind,” stated historian Mr Homer. “Worse still he has used a number of false identities to seduce his victims. To cite just three, Europa as a bull, Leda as a swan AND a shower of gold, and Ganymede as an eagle. He has even appeared as a cuckoo to his own wife, Hera.”
A spokesman for Mr Zeus said, “it’s true he has led an unconventional sex life, but he IS a god. His moral compass is different from that of us mortals. However, we may well ask why these women consorted with wildlife. We need to ask ourselves who are the real perverts here.”