Eton’s annual Career’s Fair ended in typical fashion, with 142 Ministers, 15 Actors and 1 King. The Head of Career’s declared this year’s graduation, at the elite boarding school, ‘decidedly average’ – hence the fact that they had more potential Archbishops than usual.
Said one career’s advisor: ‘Jeremy came to me with straight A’s at A-level and I told him he could be Prime Minister. His brother, Rory, had sadly failed all his GCSEs but I told him he could be PM as well. It really makes no difference’.
Founded in 1440, Eton it yet to produce any electricians, van drivers or premiership footballers. It has however trained thousands of embezzlers, murderers and bed-wetters – all perfectly qualified to be Chairman of the BBC.
‘We tell our boys to follow their dreams but keep their eyes on their trust fund. All of them will go on to careers of fabulous power and responsibility – and failing that, there is always Prime Minister’.