Saturn’s rings onion, confirm NASA

onion rings

THE US space agency has confirmed the rings around Saturn are concentric hoops of onion coated in batter and breadcrumbs.

NASA chief Steve Baum explained: “The Cassini mission to Saturn first alerted us to huge snacks encircling the planet by detecting the presence of what appeared to be loose breadcrumbs forming the outer ring system.”

Closer inspection revealed an edible nature to the inner rings, despite being raw and uncooked due to the planet’s distance from a source hot enough to cook them.

Further proof has come from Perseverance Rover on Mars, which detected a ‘disgusting sicky-burp smell’ of onion wafting across the Martian plains, substantiating the previous observations.

Astronaut Troy Schwab, a veteran of many NASA missions, including two to determine if the moon was made of cheese by eating lumps of it, is in training to visit Saturn and validate the hypothesis by gnawing on portions of the rings, accompanied only by a mayonnaise-based dip.

Troy commented: “If you think chewing on raw breadcrumbed onion rings around Saturn sounds unpleasant, you should try squeezing Jupiter’s Great Red Spot!”

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Posted: Mar 26th, 2021 by

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