Police charge IKEA protestors with an awful assembly


Police who arrested six protestors outside an IKEA store have found two extra protestors they didn’t know they had, along with a mysterious piece of wood with three holes in it. The police were called to the store to break up an illegal gathering and tried to put the protestors into the back of a van.

A police spokesperson said: ‘Of course, we always refer to the policing manual when conducting operations. We believe the problem lies in putting B (or protestor 1) on seat F at the back of the van, when in fact B1 should have gone to seat D. Once B was at F we couldn’t work out how to fit the others into the van. We can laugh about it now, but it was very frustrating at the time. I completely lost it and had to be sedated.’

Lawyers for the protestors claim they only gathered at IKEA for meatballs but were seduced by a minimalist wardrobe. IKEA has told the police they can return the protestors for a full refund or have someone come to the station to fit them into a cell.

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Posted: Mar 27th, 2021 by

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