Raab sends giant bottle of Vicks to Suez canal to ease congestion


‘It’s the least we could do’, said Foreign Secretary and stand up comedy delight Dominic Raab. ‘We can’t have world trade coming to a standstill, can we? So I raided the foreign aid coffers. There wasn’t much there, to be honest after Downing street had syphoned off a few quid for Carrie’s new Banksy wallpaper and framing Boris’ new collection of banana paintings.’

‘The budget won’t stretch to ferrying bulldozers and heavy lifting equipment across the world, I’m afraid. I know people will say we’ve gone completely ‘menthol’, but we’ve taken advice from SAGE, and their extensive modelling, scribbled on the back of an ipad, says it just might work.’

‘The public needs to remember that this government brilliantly solved the pandemic crisis with tubs of new improved ‘Greed’, and now we’re keeping the high street stocked with dodgy, made in Uighur forced labour camps clothing, armed with only a bottle of Vicks.’

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2021 by

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