Stuck Suez ship to be renamed ‘Boaty McF*ckface’

Ever given

The owners of the ‘Ever Given’ have decided to allow the public to rename their vessel in an act of contrition at the inconvenience caused to other Suez users at the current time. A poll of two hundred and thirty seven ships captains at anchor either end of the Suez on Friday night swiftly revealed two front runners for the new names, with the ‘Ever Stuck’ a jolly but distant second behind ‘Boaty McFuckface’. Lloyds Insurers and a forum of merchants representing the several billion dollars worth of undelivered cargo have begged that the renaming ceremony be held off until after the ship has cleared the canal and reached its destination, in case of further mishap. A spokesperson confirmed, “Much as we would all like to twat that thing with a bottle we don’t trust it not to sink.”

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2021 by

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