The First Humans, Adam and Eve have had to sit their God down and explain to him that He was not planned – Cain was always meant to be their first.
Adam started with “it’s like this matey, there was so much new stuff going on that we just didn’t have the time to explain it properly, there were only the two of us, so double-blind approaches were out of the question, and we didn’t have any lab coats anyway. So we just said ‘God did it’ then we didn’t have to think about it properly”.
Eve chipped in “it doesn’t mean that we don’t love you, it’s just that you don’t actually exist. We’ll sort something out, around worshipping you, sacrifices and oppressing anyone who comes up with their own alternative though – we sure this won’t cause any wider ructions in the future, and we’ll all get along really well as a result”.
God said “No no, YOU are supposed to be MY children”, to which Eve said “pull the other one, love, I mean you’ve not got the bits have you?” “Why does everyone assume I’m a white middle-aged privileged male, with power to do whatever the fuck I like?” replied the deity, “Actually, that gives me an idea for the future..”
God was unavailable for comment.