An ugly fat bloke born between 1941 and 2021 has become an overnight internet sensation. The wrinkly old bastard, who is believed to represent the average UK male citizen, began to appear on websites last week. His stunning image has tantalised millions, and websites have crashed as people eagerly click on him in the hope of sharing in his mysterious good fortune.
One online fan said: ‘When I saw the fat bloke pointing at his passport, I just had to know what treat he was in store for in April. I was born between 1941 and 2021. You can’t say that’s just a coincidence!’
A photo of a tired and angry woman pointing at her driving licence also appeared last week. According to experts she is in for a real treat sometime in March, even though she looks confused and capable of serious violence.
The online fan of passport-pointing added: ‘When I saw the photo it was like looking in a mirror. I’m haggard, depressed, and yet ever-so-slightly smug. I also enjoy pointing at things. When I clicked on the photo I was contacted by a fat-pointers modelling agency. I now get paid wads of cash for pointing at things, including wads of cash. I’m in high demand because I look burnt-out and British, but not in a sexy way.’