The Matt Hancock Appreciation Society was able to hold its first event today as lockdown restrictions started to lift, and its organiser says it was a “raging success and totally Covid secure.”
“We complied with all the regulations, especially the rule of six,” said Mr M Hancock, the founder of the society. “In fact, there were only two of us here. So, not only less than six, but also 100% of the membership. This is the most successful thing I have ever overseen.”
The event took place in Hyde Park and saw Mr Hancock and the other socially distant attendee clap for one minute in “recognition of the current Health Secretary being a jolly good chap”. Mr Hancock then made what he called “a rousing speech on the brilliance of Matt Hancock,” whilst visibly choking back tears. This was followed by a chorus of For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow. The event was closed with a rendition God Save the Queen and the waving of a Union Jack flag.
Moments later, the other attendee announced the formation of the Gavin Williamson Appreciation Society. Mr G Williamson said that he had been so moved and inspired by the event that he felt compelled to start his own society recognising the Education Secretary.
It held its first meeting immediately and also claimed it to be a success.
“It was brilliant, I made a brilliant speech and all the schools stayed open during it,” Mr Williamson said. “OK, there weren’t as many attendees as Mr Hancock left when I announced it. I expect the social distancing rules have been increased from 2 metres to 2 miles and they forgot to tell me. Yes, I expect that is it. They often do that sort of thing to me.”