Christians should remember the suffering of Piers Morgan rather than Jesus this year, according to a surprise joint statement from the Pope and Archbishop of Canterbury.
“Yes, Jesus was crucified and suffered for our sins,” the statement says. “But, reading Piers Morgan numerous newspaper columns, Twitter feed and public statements, it is clear he thinks he has suffered more and has been silenced by the woke brigade. Who are we to question his truth?”
The statement goes on to draw a number of similarities between Christ and Morgan.
“If you think about it, Piers and Jesus are quite similar really,” it says. “Jesus cured the sick, Piers shouted over politicians during a pandemic. Jesus feed the 5,000, Piers said nice things about Marcus Rashford. Jesus started a religion that has lasted thousands of years with billions of followers, Piers managed to get Good Morning Britain’s to beat BBC Breakfast in the ratings for one day.”
Piers Morgan has been quoted as saying: “I never really liked Easter before because it was about somebody else. Now, it’s been made about me, I think it is great. Besides, Jesus hasn’t had a new book out about his suffering for years, but mine about how people have silenced me is the shops right now.”