Man inexplicably still overweight after completing marathon

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Dan Evans is scratching his slightly flabby head after realising that he still as chunky as he was before completing a marathon, it has emerged.

Evans said, “it is a universally established fact, or so I thought, that if you start running you lose weight. So, applying that logic, training for marathon means I should look like Joe bastard Wicks by now.

“Right? Wrong.

“I am still the jowly prick I always was. Actually, more so and with added pensioner knees. What a complete load of bollocks. I can’t even plaster smug pictures over social media because it would just be pictures of me wearing in a medal.

“Christ. So, the moral of the story is kids, forget exercise. It’s all bollocks. You may as well stick to the Xbox and Pringles.”

Dan’s wife, Jane said, “he walked for 25 and half miles and ate four Fray Bentos pies and nine snickers bars when he finished.

“What does the fat prick expect?”

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Posted: Apr 12th, 2021 by

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