Former prime-minister, David Cameron, has returned to deliver what appears to be a impossibly high level of greed and incompetence.
Mr Cameron issued a statement: “There has been talk of me being the worst since Lord North – who managed to lose America – well, I was brought up to be at the top or, at least, treated like I am, so in case my brilliant Brexit wheeze doesn’t end up destroying the union and bankrupting the country, it seemed prudent to embroil myself in a lobbying scandal that I had previously predicted would be the next big scandal after the Murdoch newspaper scandal that, er, I was embroiled in.”
Standing prime-minister, Boris Johnson, has accepted the challenge. “Mr Cameron may try and claim destroying the union, but let me tell you, if it does happen, it will be on my watch. And you mark my words, I’ve ordered an enquiry into Greensill Capital and you can be sure that it will turn out that I will end up having ordered an enquiry that implicates me.”