President Putrid’s spokesmeerkat, Alexei, maintains that the build-up of 150,000 Russian troops on the border of the Ukraine is not an act of agression.
‘We are mereley preparing to rapidly deploy the Sputnik V anti-Covid to our friends in Germany. They are considering buying thirty million doses and we want to get them to Berlin asap. As such we are prepared to make the delivery ourselves. Unfortunately, this will necessitate crossing Ukraine and Poland. Fortunately, we have practiced this manoeuvre before.
‘Does anyone want to buy some insurance whilst I’m here?’