Janice Cupdraw, 26, from Pontefract has broken the world record time for farting and then smelling it herself. She was at home in her shower, when she achieved the record-breaking feat.
Norris McSquirter from the Guinness Book of Records, who was disconcertingly on hand with a clipboard to adjudicate, confirmed, ‘She absolutely shattered it. And by that, I mean the record time, not the glass door of her shower. She clocked a speed of 0.69 seconds, which is, incidentally, precisely the same world record time for completing the Rubik’s Magic.’
The Royal Institute for Pissing About examined the circumstances of the event in great detail. Professor John Flask said, ‘In the first instance, the absence of clothing in the shower helped a great deal. Clothing does form a temporary barrier to gas diffusion, slowing down the time it takes to detect the stench. The completely enclosed shower cubicle itself also played a major role. The fart cloud ricocheted off the reflective glass surface of the shower door, and with nowhere else to go, hit her nostrils almost instantly.’
Cupdraw told NewsBiscuit, ‘It was squelchier than normal, and surprisingly powerful. Even for me.’ Describing how she felt about her achievement, she responded, ‘Very satisfied.’