EasyJet offering flights to pop you down to the shops

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With plane parks full of aircraft sitting around not doing very much, the EasyJet executive board  has announced it’s “come up with some great blue sky thinking” in an attempt to make good on colossal losses suffered during the pandemic.

Not satisfied with enough of the last breathable British air being turned orange, they company is offering flights to pop customers down to the shops. The Super Saver Sainsbury’s Shopper Hopper is being hailed as a marvel of brand fusion. Although no one can explain why the hybrid brand is purple.

Soon to follow will be the Bladder Airbus, flying pissheads back from the pub. And it is believed that intense negotiations involving the flinging of poop are taking place for the opening up of new EasySchoolRun routes in September.

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Posted: Apr 28th, 2021 by

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