£4 billion cut to foreign aid ‘100% justified’ as Boris needs new downstairs toilet

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Countries around the world have united in their support of the government’s £4 billion foreign aid cut, since Boris has explained his downstairs lav needs “a bit of a revamp”.

Despite some initial reservations – which saw some ‘doom-mongers’ point out that many of the world’s poorest countries are still in the grip of a deadly pandemic and lack even the most basic life saving necessities like oxygen and sanitation – once Boris explained the next stage of his thrilling home improvements plan all criticism was silenced.

Head of Healthcare and Hospitals in India told us: ‘I was sceptical at first but now I cannot believe how closed minded I was. Yes, people are dying every few minutes here, yes, a little cash would have been useful to ensure our poorest children survived to adulthood….but my word, when I heard BoJo needed a new bog, I took it all back. The man needs the best. I don’t care where that money comes from.’

Various public sector employees, including nurses, teachers and care workers, have now offered to take a 50% pay cut as there is some indication Boris may also want to ‘do up’ the east-wing lav too.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2021 by

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