‘Voters happy with corruption as long as MPs honest about it’ claims new poll

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UK voters are comfortable with corrupt politicians shafting them and taking them for a ride just as long as they are up-front and honest about it say leading pollsters Ipsos MORI.

‘If there is one thing UK voters can’t stand it’s a politician being dishonest about being corrupt,’ said MORI’s Jason Beesley. ‘We know they treat tax-payers money like their own personal revenue fountain….but people are fine with that as long as you don’t take them for idiots. They actually vote for them for fuck’s sake.’

They killed your grandmother and the firm you work for went bust but all you asked was when can I go down the gym. Voters accept things like £850 for a roll of wallpaper and £200,000 to renovate an already luxurious flat and smirk when not rewarding the person who saved your a life with a pay rise…..people get that…….but don’t be coy about it, don’t hide it.’

‘Being dishonest about being dishonest is the worst thing a politician can do. Look at Jeremy Corbyn for instance, he was the lowest claimer of MP expenses in the whole country. All he ever claimed for was an £8.70 ink cartridge….a fucking ink cartridge. Nobody is going to trust a man who only claims just £8.70 when he could have claimed £8700…people start asking questions about that sort of thing. They start to question his judgement.’

‘People are happy with ‘bodies piling high’ as long as they don’t block access to the beer garden or clutter up the beach huts. Once the BBQ is fired up the smell of onions will soon mask the smell of rotting corpses….people really don’t mind that sort of thing. What they don’t like is finding out that MPs tried to cover up their corruption. They see that as wrong.’

‘Of course you are going to award eye-watering contracts to your mates for doing something they know nothing about. We all do that…..you should see my bathroom Just don’t try and pull the wool over their eyes about who has baked the best cake or who has created the best floral print pattern to go on a summer dress. They get really annoyed about that sort of thing.’

‘They won’t tolerate dishonesty…especially if they think the chocolate babka was better than the apricot frangipane. Things like that matter when you have taken the trouble to vote.’

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Posted: May 2nd, 2021 by

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