‘Use cheap foreign labour to pick the fruit’, says furloughed Brexiteer


After the government suggested some furloughed workers should consider work as fruit and vegetable pickers to help farmers fill a labour shortage, one such worker and Brexit cheerleader has said ‘Bollocks to that, let’s ship in some foreigners instead’, with no sense of irony whatsoever.

Said Brexiteer and staunch idiot, Martin Walker believes that this solution is totally consistent with a vision of the UK free from the constraints of open borders and EU fanaticism because we can just kick them out when we are done with them. ‘Truck in some Romanians.  They’ll appreciate not needing to cling to the underside for once. I couldn’t possibly do it due to an old shrapnel injury from the war that occurred before my parents were even born and besides, they’ll get so much more out of it. It’ll be like a holiday for them.’

‘Anyway, I’ve got another job reporting people carrying bags of flour and screaming “Two fucking metres you entitled pricks” to Waitrose queues. Of course, we should only bring in the brightest and the best fruit pickers, so it is also totally consistent with Brexit and the government’s new approach to immigration.’

‘As long as I don’t have to see them, we don’t allow them out of the secure caravan site, or access, before they’re sent back to where they came from as soon as we’re golden on the strawberries front, you’ll hear no complaints from me.’

‘Now, I must remember to clap for the NHS again this Thursday. Just the English ones, obviously.’

Share this story...

Posted: May 3rd, 2021 by

Click for more article by ..

© 2021 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer