Following complaints from the Devil, an enquiry has been launched into a spate of one-star ratings on TripAdvisor for the venue he has unsuccessfully tried to rebrand as “Chez Satan”.
“When I took over this place, the understanding was that nobody would escape to leave a negative review online”, he says. “But then I log on to the accommodation sites and it’s nothing but complaints about the heat and surly service”. He claims he is now the victim of hate mail and Facebook bullying.
Bill Betts from Manchester’s review complains, “Really not very upfront about minimum stay in contract. If I’d seen the ‘for all eternity’ clause in the small print I’d have plumped for Lanzarote”.
Meanwhile, Giles Darby from Hull complains about sound pollution from the constant wailing of the damned, and the appalling lack of wheelchair access to the Seventh Circle.
However, Ryanair has cashed in on the publicity and is now offering twice-weekly budget flights to Hell. “Actually, it’s not really to Hell”, a company spokesman says. “It’s to Margate, but we can assure you there’s an amazing shuttle service from the town centre right to the bowels of Hell, and anyway what do you expect for £19.99?”