Dave Jenkins from Redditch watched all of Dominic Cummings’s evidence to MPs yesterday and has been left with one nagging question, namely what other films Jeff Goldblum has been in other than Independence Day, it has emerged.
Jenkins said, “obviously, I wanted to watch Cummings. He looks like he could make anything set on fire just by staring at it or casually eat a bag of live rats without flinching.
“Also, he is quite an intriguing character. I mean, why did he always carry a plastic bag around? Packed lunch is my guess. I’d say, a boiled egg and meat paste on white with no crusts.
“Anyway, I watched him for the whole seven hours. It was very frustrating and actually, in the end, so infuriating.
“I just kept asking myself, Jeff Goldblum? Jeff. Gold. Blum. What else has he been in?
“Ah, it was doing my nut in. I shouted to the wife. I said, ‘you know that Jeff Goldblum?’ She said, ‘who?’ So I was like, “JEFF GOLDBLUM! Proper shouting, I was.
“She said, ‘oh, yeah. What about him?” I said, ‘what’s he been in?’ You’ll never guess what she said then. Guess. No, you’ll never get it.
“Independence Day. Inde-bloody-pendence Day. Give me strength.
“Anyway, I couldn’t think of any.
“Google it? Yeah, I suppose. To be honest, I’m not that bothered anymore.
“Can’t remember what else he said. Oh, that’s right, Jaws.
“Jeff Goldblum wasn’t in that, was he?” asked Dave hopefully.