Shocked Britons are reportedly living in fear of returning home to find that strangers have paid for hundreds of thousands of pounds of improvements to their décor as part of the Changing Rooms reboot.
“It’s just a little flat, really” said Mavis, 59. “The hall needed a lick of paint and the taps in the bathroom were never to my taste, but otherwise I liked it. Imagine my surprise last Thursday when I walked in to what I can only describe as a whore’s boudoir”.
Mavis is just the latest victim of practical joker Lord Brownlow, who has displaced Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen in the reboot, and is in the habit of coughing up £200k at a time to decorate random homes with no expectation of anything in return.
“He just loves interior decorating”, said a close friend. “If he had enough money I think he’d cover every home in Britain in £840-per roll wallpaper”.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson has also received the Brownlow treatment, confirming his status as ‘man of the people’. I had no idea how it was being paid for – I assumed Channel 4 picked up the tab as part of the Changing Rooms reboot,’ he said today.