With plans for her platinum jubilee being revealed, reports are emerging that Queen Elizabeth is in fact, immortal.
The Daily Express broke the story with a headline that was simply an orgasmic groan accompanied by a 32 page pull out, comprising solely of Union Jacks.
Prince Charles was seen walking to his hydroponic greenhouse with his head down, shoulders slumped, a bong in either hand.
The Queen appeared to confirm the rumours with some remarks at Buckingham Palace.
‘Wassup plebs. Have a nice bank holiday, courtesy of your ever living Maj. It’s worth saying that I’m gonna see every one of you f*ckers six feet under. Q Unit out.’