The entire population of the UK has been left dumbfounded since the breaking news that some bloke responsible for school catch up was actually a Tsar.
‘I literally had no idea that we had a supreme ruler from Eastern Europe running our Education Recovery Programme’ says Mike from Birmingham ‘I can’t believe they haven’t mentioned this to anyone until now. What a shame he has just quit. I hope they carry on this trend and spice up some other people’s titles too’.
Many have taken to Twitter with suggestions, which include: ‘Oligarch For Crime And Medieval Punishment’ Priti Patel, ‘Pharaoh Of Lies’ Matt Hancock and ‘Emperor Of Evil’ Dominic Cummings.
The most popular suggestion is ‘Sultan Of Stupidity’ Boris Johnson.