Legendary wartime broadcaster Lord Haw-Haw has been recruited as a presenter on GB News in a bid to bolster its flagging ratings.
‘I am sure everyone will enjoy a nightly hate-filled ramble presented by a pseudo-aristocratic drunkard,’ said chairman of GB News, Andrew Neil.
‘Lord Haw-Haw will broadcast his rants from a dark cellar in Hamburg on a barely audible, short-wave radio frequency. In that respect, it will be quite similar to the show I put on in that sinister, black-walled bunker which I use as a studio.’
GB News has released a pilot episode of the show that they plan to call ‘Lord Haw-Haw’s Hoo-Hah’.
‘The people of England will curse themselves for having preferred ruin under Boris Johnson to peace under Ursula von der Leyen,” Haw-Haw slurs. “There is only one solution. Submit to the will of your masters in Berlin!’
Said Andrew Neil: ‘Our regular viewers – Sid and Ethel Barking from Penge – might think Lord Haw-Haw is a bit too much of a europhile, given that he bangs on so much about the unification of the continent under an Aryan super race. But I think they will warm to his moderate conservative views about the need to imprison deviants and make the trains run on time.’
The traitor Lord Haw-Haw, whose real name is William Joyce, was arrested by British military authorities on the German-Danish border in 1945 and brought back to the UK. Since then, he has been making a steady living by ghost-writing opinion columns for the Daily Mail and the Daily Telegraph.