Oops I did Gove again, admits Britney Spears

Pop sensation and skimpy outfit aficionado Britney Spears has tacitly confessed to a long-standing, steamy affair with blancmange-faced cabinet minister Michael Gove. Long-time Britney fan Amy Armstrong said: ‘The whole reason Britney wants to end her conservatorship is so she can begin her conservativeship with Michael. She knows he’s toxic, but she’s just a slave 4 him.’

Armstrong added that she was furious about Gove’s ex-wife Sarah Vine’s eye-wateringly hypocritical request for privacy. ‘I’m Team Meghan as well as Team Britney,’ she said. ‘I’ll give her sorrow, sorrow sorrow sorrow…. hey Vine, if U seek Amy, I’m right here and I will fight you. Do you want a piece of me?’

In response to developments, the UK Government is to sharply increase funding for mental health as this makes it two separate women found to be sexually attracted to Michael Gove. ‘It just isn’t plausible.’ said psychiatrist Jodie Johnstone. ‘I know it’s Britney’s prerogative, but Gove is 100% the kind of guy who yawns just to sneak his arm around you. You wouldn’t even friend-zone him, just hit him baby one more time, right in his stupid face.’

Luke Lawrence, a nightclub bouncer near where Gove lives, said: ‘In the before times, when MG arrived at the club, he’d step out of his Benz dripping in diamonds and snow – straight from the Colombian mountain tops, if you know what I mean. I remember his purple fur cloak and emerald encrusted cane. Once enthroned in his VIP booth, he would settle down with a Peach Schnapps and make it rain PPE contracts. Those Gove Groupies – girls and boys – just lost their minds.’

‘Since Britney came in to his life, he’s different. It’s as if he was born to make her happy.’

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2021 by

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