Football has phoned and asked if you wouldn’t mind putting the kettle on, as it’s nearly home and hasn’t had a proper cup of tea for over 50 years. If there are any hobnobs in the cupboard it would like a couple of those too if it’s not too much trouble.
Since last coming home in the 1966, football has travelled extensively, including extended spells in South America visiting Brazil and Argentina. It almost came home in 1990 and again in 1996, but both times made late decisions to go to Germany instead, where it spends so much time it has actually bought a second house.
A planned trip home in 2018 was also changed at late notice. Still upset about the country voting to leave the EU, football decided to go and spend some more time in France while freedom of movement was not a concern.
While a cup of tea and a biscuit would be lovely if football does come home, don’t go so far as to plan dinner around it, as there is a chance it will decide to pop over to Italy for a few years instead.