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Other stories by Adrian Bamforth

Hundreds of Page 3 girls released from captivity

Carly, 19, from Essex has a thing or two to say about it...Hundreds of Page 3 girls were seen fleeing from The Sun offices today. It is thought some may have escaped from their captors while others were freed as The Mail Online closed in on its territory. The two groups have recently been engaged in a fierce battle, forcing The Sun to retreat to the moral high-ground.

One witness described the scene as ‘chaos’ as the girls, many of them emaciated, half-clothed and barely out of childhood, ran from the paper’s headquarters in Fleet Street and were bundled into nearby taxis. Nothing is known of the fate of a smaller number of Page 7 fellas previously abducted from various stripping dance troupes, who remain missing.

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2015
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Adrian Bamforth

Enoch Powell Pound Shop to close

'easing the economic burden of immigration' since 1968Launched as an experiment to see if mild racism might reverse the effects of the recession, the stores stocked a large number of budget patriotic trinkets and cleaning products, such as Union Jack dishcloths, porcelain bulldogs and 100% pure white spirit.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
More from Business



Adrian Bamforth

Former school bullies actually doing quite well

Revenge fantasies have been dashed today after it was revealed that all those who bullied you at school now have pretty good lives, and are not begging on the street or trapped in dead-end jobs after all.

The new survey reveals that, despite their lack of formal qualifications from school, many have worked their way up and found highly aspirational careers using exactly those skills they gained pushing you around and laughing at your inadequacies.

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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2015
More from Features



Adrian Bamforth

Stonehenge development: ley lines closed during 2015 while toll lanes added

when it will be finished is entirely in the lap of the godsThe government has announced a radical up-grade to Britain’s dilapidated ley-line network with major closures on all lines and charges being brought in on certain routes when the network re-opens. ‘For years Britain’s natural mystic energy has been having to cope on an out-dated system’ said David Cameron dressed in a rainbow baggy jumper wearing a large purple feather as an earring. ‘It might have been adequate for the Bronze Age when it was first laid out, but is entirely unsuitable to 21st Century new age Britain.’

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2014
More from UK News



Adrian Bamforth

Pope says last two Popes ‘possibly didn’t happen’

Head of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis, has surprised worshippers by suggesting that the two preceding papalcies – those of Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XV – may not have occurred at all.

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Posted: Nov 27th, 2014
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