NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Other stories by Adrian Bamforth

DIY worshippers demand closure of churches on Sunday

Worshippers of the gods of tinkering, pottering and fixing up have pledged to oppose moves to extend church opening times, and to defend Sundays as a ‘designated day for hardware-based activities.’

Rev Stephen ‘Bodger’ Davis of the Church of the Holy Dremmel, said: ‘Sunday are sacred to us. There’s plenty of time throughout the week to pray to Christ and sing hymns – no-one needs an extra half day. We accept that not everyone goes to the hardware store week in, week out, but we have to remember that this is still a DIY-worshipping nation. Unless our traditions are maintained, children will soon have no idea what decking was or why the Ground Force Trinity were so important.’

Read more >

Posted: Jul 11th, 2015
More from Faith



Adrian Bamforth

God asked to move in less predictable ways

'I'm not in'God, the creator of the universe and leader of the Roman Catholic Church, was today asked by worshippers from a variety of faiths to add a dash of mystery to the manner in which he goes about governing the forces of nature, responding to the prayers of his followers and guiding his emissaries on Earth.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 28th, 2015
More from Faith



Adrian Bamforth

Glastonbury Festival announces Right-Wing Field line-up

'Applaud them, or DIE!'The line-up to the Glastonbury Festival’s ‘Swing to the Right’ field, a stage dedicated to the promotion of un-progressive values, has been announced.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 19th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment



Adrian Bamforth

Jeremy Vine refusing to leave ‘virtual’ election studio

'Battlegrounds? Real life is a battleground my friend!'Presenter and broadcaster Jeremy Vine has reportedly refused to vacate the BBC’s ‘virtual set’, days after election coverage had officially ended. The BBC confirmed the Panorama presenter has ‘gone rogue’.

Read more >

Posted: May 9th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment



Adrian Bamforth

Puppets speak out about abuse at the hands of ‘cruel ventriloquist’

'he seemed so normal on the outside...'Dozens of the nation’s puppets have today spoken about their years of suffering in the hands of ventriloquist Keith Harris, in the wake of his death this week.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 29th, 2015
More from UK News