The Department for Work and Pensions has warned that the country’s benefits system is in danger of collapse as ex-MPs struggle to find employment outside Westminster and have to turn to state handouts.
Posted: May 8th, 2010
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Outlook for continued peace described as ‘slight, occasionally poor, becoming very poor later’.
Posted: Apr 17th, 2010
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‘We are recalling spring and reverting to the previous season, winter. This change will take effect immediately and remain in operation over the bank holiday weekend.’
Posted: Apr 1st, 2010
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As Londoners busy themselves preparing for the inevitable chaos and disruption that the forthcoming New Financial Year celebrations will bring, Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, has sought to allay fears of a repeat of the violence that marred last year’s celebrations.
Mr. Johnson stated today that: ‘steps have been taken, to prevent a recurrence of last year’s disorder’, when the capital’s large Accountancy population take to the streets on the Thursday 1st April, to welcome in the new ‘Fiscal Year of the Weevil’.
Posted: Mar 20th, 2010
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Winter Olympic gold medallist, Amy Williams, is to receive the first of what’s expected to be many honours, after Prince Harry awarded the shapely Bob Skeleton rider a royal ‘would’ this morning.
As a consequence of being the only Briton to medal at the Vancouver games last month, the 27-year-old from Bath has been widely tipped as a shoo-in for a Damehood in June, when the Queen’s Birthday Honours List is announced. Some have even predicted that Miss Williams will lift the much coveted BBC Sports Personality of the Year for 2010. However, Prince Harry’s bestowal of the royal ‘would’ has come as a complete surprise to most pundits, primarily because the honour didn’t actually exist until today. The closest award on record is when swimming star Rebecca Adlington was awarded a Royal ‘Wouldn’t’.
Posted: Mar 12th, 2010
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