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Other stories by Boutros

ITV sports result spoilers to go 24-7.

TV journalists will be permitted to wander in to make impromptu sporting announcements during any programme on the 24-hour schedule.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2015
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Boutros

Dave ‘can’t cope with any more witty banter’

Bosses at TV channel Dave have made an impassioned plea to commissioning editors of BBC and ITV to reduce their output immediately because Dave is no longer able to cope with their torrents of comedic waste. There have been regular complaints from the neighbouring History channel about the smell of Alan Davies wafting over.

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Posted: Apr 12th, 2015
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Boutros

Last person to understand iTunes dies

apparently you have to think differentPatrick Wilbert, believed to be the last person on the world who understand how iTunes works, passed away yesterday, aged 39, after a stress-related illness. Wilbert had dedicated the last 14 years of his life working out how to get music on and off his iPod via iTunes. He was successful with nearly every version of the app, and there is evidence that he was even able to use iTunes with the Windows operating system.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2015
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Boutros

Marketing exec fired for Halloween ‘lack of imagination’

Don Price is the ex-Marketing Manager of The Norwich Broom Store today having lost his job for failing to cash in on the Halloween bonanza. While every other shop in town had managed to find a Halloween angle to boost sales, Price could not come up with anything.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2014
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Boutros

Labour’s plan to put a family GP ‘in every home’

Ed Miliband has announced a bold and far-reaching plan to put a fully qualified family GP in every home. What’s more, the embedded GP will be expected to pay rent to sleep on the sofa or indeed ‘anywhere suitable between 17 and 22 degrees’, which would be a much-needed source of extra income for struggling families.

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Posted: Oct 4th, 2014
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