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Other stories by C3P0

Jobless ‘must be available for prostitution’, say new guidelines

In an unprecedented crackdown on unnecessary benefits claimants, all women currently claiming jobseeker’s allowance will soon have to demonstrate that they’re available to ‘turn tricks’ if they wish to continue receiving benefits.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2010
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C3P0

Gordon Brown denies bullying Afghanistan with bombs

Gordon Brown has reacted angrily to claims that he had ‘used missiles and bombs’ in a campaign described as widespread bullying.

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2010
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C3P0

UK poised to invade itself in Al-Qaeda crackdown

The UK armed forces are tonight set to invade the UK as a tense diplomatic stand-off looks increasingly likely to end in war. The UK government has claimed that ’swift and decisive action’ is needed to ensure that the ‘United Kingdom does not harbour terrorists’.

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Posted: Feb 16th, 2010
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C3P0

Scientists communicate successfully with persistent vegetarian

Neurologists at a Kent hospital have made a revolutionary breakthrough by communicating successfully with a person in a persistent vegetarian state and convincing her to eat a burger.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2010
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C3P0

Compulsory retirement abolished for dead

Campaigners for dead people were celebrating today after the Department for Work and Pensions announced that employers will no longer be able to force people to retire simply because they’re dead.

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Posted: Jan 25th, 2010
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