ASDA, Netto and Lidl have today agreed to long standing demands to insert contraceptives medicines into all their own-brand produce, in a last ditch attempt to protect the country’s gene pool.
Posted: Jun 30th, 2010
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Scientists meeting in London for a World summit on extra-terrestrial life have confirmed that there is now no hope of intelligent life being discovered in the Universe after Britain’s Got Talent was broadcast into space.
Posted: May 1st, 2010
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In an unprecedented crackdown on unnecessary benefits claimants, all women currently claiming jobseeker’s allowance will soon have to demonstrate that they’re available to ‘turn tricks’ if they wish to continue receiving benefits.
Posted: Mar 6th, 2010
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Gordon Brown has reacted angrily to claims that he had ‘used missiles and bombs’ in a campaign described as widespread bullying.
Posted: Feb 23rd, 2010
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The UK armed forces are tonight set to invade the UK as a tense diplomatic stand-off looks increasingly likely to end in war. The UK government has claimed that ‘swift and decisive action’ is needed to ensure that the ‘United Kingdom does not harbour terrorists’.
Posted: Feb 16th, 2010
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