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Other stories by C3P0

Help the Aged launches charity mugging campaign

Help the Aged has been announced it will be the first UK charity to upgrade from chugging to mugging. From tomorrow, all its street fundraisers will be equipped with flick-knives, knuckledusters or pistols.

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2010
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C3P0

Cocaine shipments disguised as falling snow

Police have issued a warning that drug dealers are targeting the UK during the recent snowy weather, by pouring millions of tonnes of cocaine into clouds from aircraft.

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2010
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C3P0

Punter disappointed by ‘Girlfriend Experience’ service after call-girl claims a headache

Hedge-fund manager Robert Wilson has complained about the service he received from ‘Christina,’ a £2000 a night call-girl he hired.

‘I was expecting sexual satisfaction, but instead I was forced to watch a rubbish chick-flick while Christina spent an hour and a half on the phone gossiping with her mother-in-law,’ Mr Wilson said. ‘The only conversation we had was her telling me off for drinking too much, not removing my shoes, and whinging about her work mates.

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2009
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C3P0

Drivers celebrate start of bike-hunting season

Drivers throughout Britain were today out in force to celebrate the ‘Glorious 1st’, when cyclists can be legally hunted after their summer breeding season.

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Posted: Oct 1st, 2009
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C3P0

Gordon Brown appoints Hamid Karzai as election campaign manager

'I've got this great idea for reluctant wives . . . 'Aides say that Gordon Brown was extremely impressed by Mr Karzai’s ability to galvanise the vote in the recent Afghan elections.

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2009
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