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Other stories by Des Custard

Government to step in to deal with floods of tax returns

The government has been forced to step in to deal with an expected deluge of millions of last-minute online tax returns on 31 January. Troops will be on standby to ensure phone lines are kept open, and GCHQ will temporarily lift surveillance activities to ensure there are no blockages.

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Posted: Feb 1st, 2014
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Des Custard

Muslim shopkeeper refuses to stop selling alcohol to atheists

not for everyoneBaz Hassan, 37, owner of the Bearwood Booze off licence in Smethwick, has said he will not stop selling dangerous amounts of alcohol to atheists, agnostics and Christians, despite calls from leaders of the drinking community to respect cultural weaknesses of these vulnerable groups.

Although a non-drinker and vegetarian himself, Mr Hassan says he will continue to exploit unbelievers with heavily-promoted multibuy offers on strong lager, cheap vodka, sausage rolls and smoky bacon crisps. He certainly has no time for fellow Muslims who refuse to sell such products at all, who he accuses of exhibiting dangerous liberal tendencies.

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2014
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Des Custard

Convertible Day may not occur till May this year

Convertible Day is the one day a year when it is really enjoyable to drive a convertible car with the hood down, and usually occurs in early spring.

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Des Custard

Mothers rewarded for year of dedication with crappy pub lunch

‘The reality will be business as usual, except they will be spending a good chunk of my household budget on buying an overpriced meal in a crowded noisy pub, where I will still be on peacekeeping duty and doing the ordering.’

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Posted: Mar 10th, 2013
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Des Custard

Horse food found in Waitrose luxury muesli

well, the French eat it...Tests carried out by reading the label on a packet of Waitrose luxury muesli have revealed that it contains a large percentage of horse food. As a result, all supermarkets are removing muesli products from their shelves ‘as a precautionary measure’.

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2013
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