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Other stories by Des and Stan

Vicious display of pleasantness fuels One Show presenters’ bitter rivalry

A war of words broke out on the nation’s TV screens last night when, in an astonishing outburst, the One Show’s Matt Baker was heard to say ‘Good Evening’ to fellow presenter Alex Jones. Hardly able to contain herself, the Welsh beauty struck back with a venomous riposte of ‘Hi Matt, lovely to be with you’, obviously dripping with ironic scorn.

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2011
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Des and Stan

Wife puts her marriage out to tender

asks if she can have her ring backCouncil administrator Rhona White has put her marriage out to tender, expressing dissatisfaction with her current service provider, and inviting bids from carefully selected parties.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2011
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Des and Stan

James Nesbitt to play James Nesbitt in major new TV series

Role may demand that he sticks a rose up his arse. Again.Popular actor James Nesbitt is to play James Nesbitt in a major new six-part thriller on BBC 2. James Nesbitt is an irascible, wisecracking, straight talking Ulsterman who doesn’t suffer fools gladly.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2011
More from Arts/Entertainment



Des and Stan

EU recalibration means the eradication of little old ladies by 2014

Ladies over the age of 65 and under 145cm (4’9’’) will be classed as ‘Petite or Small’, those between 145cm and 165cm (5’5’’) will be ‘Moyenne or Medium’, and those above 165cm will be ‘Grande or Tall’.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Des and Stan

Desdemona seeks transfer after string of bad results

And then there was the narrator. What a twat!Star player Desdemona confirmed rumours today that she is seeking a transfer from Moor of Venice, a team currently struggling after a string of poor results going back over 400 years.

‘I wouldn’t mind,’ said Desdemona at a press conference, ‘but it’s the same every single time. We never seem to learn from one performance to the next. I just feel completely smothered.’

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2011
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