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Other stories by Dick Everyman

Duchess of Cambridge chooses North Sea oil platform career

‘The Duchess is to relinquish her ‘softer’ public facing role in favour of some hard graft,’ said a Kensington Palace spokesperson, ‘she is very much looking forward to the prospect of surveying chain anchor legs and inspecting and stabilising underwater oil-pipelines.’

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Posted: Aug 4th, 2015
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Dick Everyman

Cross Channel foot passengers facing migrant ‘piggy-backing’ misery

so cunning you'd hardly know they were thereFoot passengers returning to the UK from day trips to Calais are being subjected to attempts by illegal migrants to stow away inside their personal belongings.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2015
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Dick Everyman

Defence cuts blamed for French victory at re-enactment of Waterloo

'Not tonight, Tommy Atkins' said defence secretary, Michael FallonFrance has triumphed over Great Britain in a huge re-enactment of the Battle of Waterloo which took place in the same Belgian fields where Napoleon’s army was defeated, 200 years ago.

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2015
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Dick Everyman

Toddler rejects her gay mums

A two year-old stamped her feet and threw her dummy to the floor in protest at a Dublin yesterday, after seeing a Mothercare poster depicting a happy nuclear family and realising that she has two mummies and no daddy.

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Posted: May 24th, 2015
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Dick Everyman

Old woman in bus queue fails to disclose her age

there's nothing grander than a nice day outAn elderly woman in Beaconsfield who spent twenty minutes in a bus queue failed to disclose her age, despite several opportunities.

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Posted: May 21st, 2015
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