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Other stories by Dick Everyman

Iain Duncan Smith to reintroduce workhouses

No, of course you can't have some more!Against a background of persistent denials of any decision yet being made about where the Tories would cut the welfare budget, a leaked email has revealed that Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith’s latest reforms include plans to reintroduce Victorian-style workhouses.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2015
More from Politics



Dick Everyman

Government proposes post-coital smoking ban

'Yeah baby!' actually 'No baby'Heterosexual couples who light up after sex will face hefty fines under a proposed new law to protect unborn children. The latest scientific research has indicated that after orgasm, smoking can impede sperm-rich semen in its journey towards the cervix, slowing it down by an average of 1.2 miles per hour.

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2015
More from Science/Technology



Dick Everyman

Museums now on the look-out for loose appendage

some say an opportunity may have been missed...Following the revelation that the blue and gold braided beard on the mask of the pharaoh Tutankhamun had been hurriedly glued back on after it was damaged, archaeologists and museum conservators around the world are checking for other instances of bodged conservation.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment



Dick Everyman

Nigeria comes to Britain’s aid over deficit

Osborne has entered a 100% risk free business relationship’ with Dr Umaru Shinkafi Egwuatu, director of the Nigerian Petroleum Trust Fund, for a share in a $600 million construction contract that Nigerian officials over-invoiced to the tune of $635.5 million with the intention of sharing the remaining $35.5 million among themselves

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2015
More from News In Brief



Dick Everyman

Premier League football mascot to come out

can't yet bring himself to tell his parents he's a mascotA top professional football mascot has announced that he will be coming out before a Premier League game. The mascot will reveal himself this Saturday but details about which club he represents are being kept secret until just before kick-off.

In a statement to the Daily Mail the mascot, who has the stage name of Mr Sprinkle said, “I’m coming out about my homosexuality because I want to move the discussion about homosexuality among professional football mascots forward.”

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2015
More from Sport