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Other stories by Gary Stanton

UK mourns loss of nation’s greatest painter

people he worked for fell in love with him‘The vitality of Freund’s walls and the intensity of his skirting boards guarantee him a place in the pantheon of late 20th Century painters and decorators.’

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Gary Stanton

Gaviscon heartburn firemen call 24 hour strike

Britain is facing a heartburn epidemic after stomach-based firemen called a 24 hour stoppage. The pint-sized firefighters, employed by Gaviscon, walked out in sympathy with public sector firemen yesterday, leaving alimentary canals across Britain seriously undermanned.

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2014
More from Business, UK News



Gary Stanton

London marathon runner raises £1m for existential angst charity

'will all these happy people please go away'London marathon runner, Nigel Mortimer, is celebrating this morning after raising £1m for the victims of crippling existential angst.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2014
More from Sport



Gary Stanton

Bob Crow brings heaven out on strike

in the interests of my members...Heaven is staging a series of 24-hour stoppages after new arrival Bob Crow balloted angels over terms and conditions.

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2014
More from Faith, Politics



Gary Stanton

Flat-screen television sets ‘destroying our natural habitat’ claim poltergeists

People intending to purchase a fancy new plasma screen should take a long hard look at themselves if they care in the slightest about having their family terrorised by a malevolent being, warned poltergeists.

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2014
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