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Other stories by Gary Stanton

‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan found not guilty of shooting unarmed civilians

did he violate six statutes, or only five?In a controversial ruling, no-nonsense cop ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan walked free from a federal court yesterday after a jury acquitted him of the ‘targeted hits’ of lowlife, good-for-nothing punks.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2014
More from UK News



Gary Stanton

England players to receive win bonus of 40 Benson & Hedges

England’s highly paid international smokers are set to pocket 40 free ciggies if they can overcome the minnows of Montenegro later today. Manager Roy Hodgson gave the go ahead for the controversial bonus despite Joe Hart blaming his recent dip in form on passive smoking in the England dressing room.

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Posted: Oct 11th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Gary Stanton

Scientists grow replacement set of testicles on Nick Clegg’s forehead

Surgeons have grown a fully functional set of gonads on Nick Clegg’s forehead to replace the pair lost when he entered a coalition with the Tories, according to reports.

The pioneering procedure uses stem cell technology to recreate a convincing ‘packet’ which medics hope to implant in the area of Clegg’s groin that controls pleasure. A team of scrotal experts have spent nine months cultivating the graft for the 46 year-old politician whose original balls were damaged beyond repair during a battle over tuition fees.

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Posted: Oct 2nd, 2013
More from News In Brief



Gary Stanton

Miliband pins conference hopes on Real IRA atrocity

and if someone could invade the Falkirk islands, too...Ed Miliband has asked dissident Irish republican groups for their help in making the Labour Party conference more newsworthy by means of some kind of atrocity, it has emerged.

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2013
More from Politics



Gary Stanton

Knight Rider remake to feature new diesel KITT

A remake of the seminal 1980s series Knight Rider will see David Hasselhoff teaming up with a diesel engine version of his old crime-fighting buddy KITT, according to reports. The global financial crisis, together with skyrocketing petrol prices, has forced producers into a rethink, with catching criminals now considered less of a priority than fuel efficiency.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment