NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Other stories by Gary Stanton

Iran on the brink of acquiring wind farm technology, warn experts

concerns that western energy may already be blowing across the bordersRegime has sought to acquire the raw materials for production, including solenoids, rivets and large rotary blades.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2012
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Gary Stanton

New York cop looks forward to retirement after uneventful last week at work

not a single drug-crazed, gun-toting mugger encountered on his entire walk homeA hard-bitten New York cop is looking forward to a leisurely retirement tonight after failing to be killed in the line of duty during his last week in work.

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

Broadcasting House stalked by ‘cigar-smoking apparition’

The BBC has launched a full internal psychic investigation after employees at Broadcasting House have reported phenomena such as rattling jewellery, eerie yodelling noises and an invisible hand touching them in ‘inappropriate places’, generally a dressing room.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

Unborn babies able to distinguish good wine from the cheap stuff, finds study

in vitro veritasDoctors now believe that a mother’s occasional glass of wine can help her unborn child develop a sophisticated wine-tasting palate which will stand them in good stead in later life.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

Home Office to phase out full-facial passport photos for gimps

The current identification system never envisaged leather-clad sex slaves habitually used to peering through a mask.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2012
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