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Other stories by Gary Stanton

Rival shelf-stacking dynasties clash over rights to price up aisle 13

it means everythingThe tinned foods aisle of a Wirral-based branch of Asda is locked in a bitter blood feud over who should price up the mushy peas, according to reports. The rival clans from Hoylake and West Kirby have amassed personal wealth estimated to be in the thousands after putting in extra night shifts at the store’s branch in Woodchurch.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2013
More from UK News



Gary Stanton

Scandinavian detective to remain upbeat despite series of personal tragedies

nothing to see here, move along nowDetective Sergeant Fred Blomqvist was in no way downcast last night after falling victim to the latest in a series of personal and work-related traumas.

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2013
More from World News



Gary Stanton

Pretty Woman devotee admits massive disillusionment with Rochdale prostitution scene

will do a full 'Julia Roberts' for a fiverAn ardent fan of the 1980’s movie Pretty Woman has today admitted that her life as a ‘sex worker’ has so far failed to live up to its on-screen portrayal.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2012
More from UK News



Gary Stanton

Ricky ‘Hitman’ Hatton to take up top-flight test cricket

Really enjoys the lunch and tea breaksRicky Hatton has astounded the sporting world today with his decision to become a world class cricketer in under four months. The former boxer says his surprise switch to International Test Cricket has filled the void left by repeatedly smacking somebody around the head until they lose consciousness and/or end up on a life support machine.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2012
More from Sport



Gary Stanton

New York cop looks forward to retirement after uneventful last week at work

not a single drug-crazed, gun-toting mugger encountered on his entire walk homeA hard-bitten New York cop is looking forward to a leisurely retirement tonight after failing to be killed in the line of duty during his last week in work.

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2012
More from Features