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Other stories by Gary Stanton

Broadcasting House stalked by ‘cigar-smoking apparition’

The BBC has launched a full internal psychic investigation after employees at Broadcasting House have reported phenomena such as rattling jewellery, eerie yodelling noises and an invisible hand touching them in ‘inappropriate places’, generally a dressing room.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

Doctors urge Prince Philip to refrain from ‘Greek’

consortDoctors examining the Duke of Edinburgh in hospital have urged him to practice more conventional forms of intercourse if he is to avoid further bladder infections.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

Dishonest Tomlinson pathologist ‘actually apprentice bricklayer’

‘Suspicions were raised as to Patel’s true profession when we noticed that, rather than driving a Lexus, Patel would often turn up for work in a rusty white van containing a cement mixer, sandwiches and a spirit level.’

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

China denies Olympic pool success down to human-dolphin hybrids

fancies Rebecca AdlingtonSuspicions were raised when BBC presenter Claire Balding overheard 16-year-old Ye Shiwen navigating her way around the Olympic pool’s deep-end using a series of clicks.

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Posted: Jul 30th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

David Walliams in ‘doomed’ charity bid to finish Stieg Larsson trilogy

David Walliams has failed in his bid raise money for disadvantaged kids by reading all twenty thousand pages of Stieg Larsson’s millennium trilogy dressed as a transsexual. The writer and performer collapsed late last night in the reading room of the British Library after a period of 82 days without intellectual stimulation .

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2012
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