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Other stories by Gary Stanton

New York cop looks forward to retirement after uneventful last week at work

not a single drug-crazed, gun-toting mugger encountered on his entire walk homeA hard-bitten New York cop is looking forward to a leisurely retirement tonight after failing to be killed in the line of duty during his last week in work.

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

Broadcasting House stalked by ‘cigar-smoking apparition’

The BBC has launched a full internal psychic investigation after employees at Broadcasting House have reported phenomena such as rattling jewellery, eerie yodelling noises and an invisible hand touching them in ‘inappropriate places’, generally a dressing room.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

Doctors urge Prince Philip to refrain from ‘Greek’

consortDoctors examining the Duke of Edinburgh in hospital have urged him to practice more conventional forms of intercourse if he is to avoid further bladder infections.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

Dishonest Tomlinson pathologist ‘actually apprentice bricklayer’

‘Suspicions were raised as to Patel’s true profession when we noticed that, rather than driving a Lexus, Patel would often turn up for work in a rusty white van containing a cement mixer, sandwiches and a spirit level.’

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2012
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Gary Stanton

China denies Olympic pool success down to human-dolphin hybrids

fancies Rebecca AdlingtonSuspicions were raised when BBC presenter Claire Balding overheard 16-year-old Ye Shiwen navigating her way around the Olympic pool’s deep-end using a series of clicks.

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Posted: Jul 30th, 2012
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