Crucifixion of Jesus ‘may have been a DIY accident’
‘He may have got in a tangle attempting to put up some shelves’
Posted: Jun 24th, 2010
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Other stories by Genghis Cohen
Dogs, monkeys failing to build on success of early space missions
‘When they beat us into space, I think we all assumed it was a matter of time before you had poodles and marmosets on the moon‘
Posted: Jun 20th, 2010
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Goalkeeper insists on wearing different colour shirt to team dinner
England goalkeeper David James surprised reporters last night by eschewing the England team’s official regalia of Marks & Spencer grey suit, waistcoat and tie at a function at the British High Commission, and instead opting for a yellow long-sleeved polyester top with elbow and shoulder padding, complemented by a pair of thick white gloves designed by Umbro.
‘Goalkeepers are like method actors,’ said former England goalkeeper Bob Wilson. ‘It’s not a role you can just slip in and out of. People assume that goalies wear different outfits to the rest of the team for the extra protection and easy on-field identification, but it’s actually because we want to show everyone that we’re individuals, and that different rules apply to us both on and off the pitch.’
Posted: Jun 19th, 2010
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FA insists England have clear World Cup exit strategy
The Football Association hit back last night after the international community criticised the England football team for becoming embroiled in yet another intractable foreign campaign that everyone agrees is unwinnable. ‘We have learned from the mistakes of the past,’ said David Sheepshanks, joint-acting Chairman of the FA. ‘This time we are entering the competition with a clear exit strategy. I give England fans my word that we will have the boys home inside a fortnight.’
Posted: Jun 9th, 2010
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Keanu Reeves’ next movie to feature ‘acting double’
Hollywood producers confirmed today that Keanu Reeves’ next blockbuster will be the first to feature a specialist who will stand in for the A-lister in sequences deemed too ambitious for an actor of his talent. Universal Pictures has reassured fans that the star will perform his usual repertoire of running, fighting and monosyllabic grunts, but with a lookalike being brought in for scenes requiring his character to display emotion or intellectual depth.
Posted: May 27th, 2010
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