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Other stories by Gerontius Bonalatty

Royal corgi to get state funeral

David Cameron has announced there is to be three days of mourning, a public holiday and a state funeral in memory of Monty Windsor, the Royal corgi who sadly passed away over the weekend.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2012
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Gerontius Bonalatty

Complaint of animal-like behaviour prompts arrest at zoo

Police were called to Whipsnade Zoo earlier today after CCTV coverage showed a man making a racist gesture towards a lady from Kettering. The man, originally from the Congo but now living near Dunstable, is said to have fondled his genitals, made other inappropriate gestures, waved a banana and made racist noises, while swinging from a tyre in one of the zoo’s compounds.

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2012
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Gerontius Bonalatty

Scots’ Justice Secretary to release Pandas on compassionate grounds

Two pandas recently incarcerated in an Edinburgh zoo are to be released on compassionate grounds after one of them was found to be suffering from terminal prostate cancer. The animals, destined to spend the rest of their lives behind bars after being found guilty of ‘looking really cute’ could be released as early as next week.

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Posted: Dec 28th, 2011
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Gerontius Bonalatty

Matt Lucas to replace Thames Flood Barrier for charity

‘On 3rd September Matt will be lowered into the river using hydraulic lifting gear at a point just north of New Charlton and will straddle the Thames for the next ten days.’

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2011
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Gerontius Bonalatty

Geoff Boycott’s grandmother called up to Indian cricket team

grandson insists she's better than Tendulkar‘About bloody time too,’ said Sir Geoffrey. ‘I’ve been saying all summer that my grandmother is a better batsman than this lot.’

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2011
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