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Other stories by Gerontius

Welsh to be banned from public places

People from Wales will be banned from using public places say NHS Wales. The new ruling comes into force in 2017 and will extend to Welsh people living in the rest of the UK and all crown properties beyond.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2015
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Gerontius

Epsom Derby was ruined by the smell of horses say socialites

Socialites attending Saturday’s Epsom Derby say the whole event was ruined by the disgusting smell of horse manure and the annoying breaks they had to endure to watch the stupid creatures chasing each other round the track.

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2015
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Gerontius

‘Cancer drugs will shrink Daily Mail’, says report

Consultants at Royal Marsden Hospital say they have finally developed a pair of cancer drugs that greatly reduces the copy size of the Daily Mail newspaper.

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2015
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Gerontius

Royal Family ‘corrupt, outdated and in need of reform’, says Blatter

FIFA President Sepp Blatter has called for the British Royal Family to put the interests of the nation first and resign.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2015
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Gerontius

Harry calls for compulsory gardening duties for 18-20 year-olds

‘I dread to think where I’d be today if he hadn’t spent my formative years deadheading verbenas and repotting bromeliads in granny’s greenhouse,’ said the ginger-fingered hybrid.

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Posted: May 19th, 2015
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