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Other stories by Gerontius

Royal Family ‘corrupt, outdated and in need of reform’, says Blatter

FIFA President Sepp Blatter has called for the British Royal Family to put the interests of the nation first and resign.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2015
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Gerontius

Harry calls for compulsory gardening duties for 18-20 year-olds

‘I dread to think where I’d be today if he hadn’t spent my formative years deadheading verbenas and repotting bromeliads in granny’s greenhouse,’ said the ginger-fingered hybrid.

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Posted: May 19th, 2015
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Gerontius

Dozens feared inconvenienced as bikers clash outside Isle of Wight cafe

mods and rocking chairsPolice were called to the Blue Rinse Cafe on the seafront at Shanklin, Isle of Wight, yesterday to deal with an outbreak of the type of violence not seen since the mid-1960s. The trouble is understood to have erupted when a gang on mobility scooters aggressively took the last parking spaces. The number of those mildly put out is put at nine, but may rise.

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Posted: May 18th, 2015
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Gerontius

New laws to target non-Tory voters

David Cameron is to set out a string of new powers aimed at tackling dangerous extremists who did not vote Tory, saying the UK has been a “passively tolerant society” for too long.

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Posted: May 13th, 2015
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Gerontius

Tories carve election pledge in block of vanilla ice-cream

David Cameron has defended the decision to carve his party’s election promises in a vanilla flavoured block of ice-cream, claiming Tory pledges would be there for all to see long after the election dust had settled.

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Posted: May 6th, 2015
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