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Other stories by Golgo13

British Athlete facing life-time ban for using Heathrow travelator

London 2012 hopeful, Fergus Mason (33) has been removed from consideration for the British Olympic 100m squad and could be banned from the sport for life after tests revealed his qualifying trial time of 9.82 seconds set at the weekend was achieved on one of the travelators (moving walkways) at London’s Heathrow Airport.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2012
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Golgo13

Bus drivers in Brighton told to ‘steer clear of affection’

120 horsepower babe magnetThe friendly snog with the driver could become a thing of the past on Brighton’s public transport network, as busy-body bus bosses have told employees that intimate contact with passengers is no longer acceptable.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2012
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Golgo13

Awkwardness and return to status quo as everyone in UK attempts to fake death on same day

same time next year thenMillions of Britons were left rolling their eyes and shrugging to each other today as it became clear that they had all chosen the same day to fake their own deaths in a bid to escape crippling debt, dysfunctional relationships or untenable positions at work.

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2012
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Golgo13

West London terrorised by ‘trick or treat’ interpretive street dance gang

Families across the London borough of Ealing were left paralysed with fear, unable to go outside last night after receiving a visit from a group of synchronised trick-or-treaters who performed complex dance interpretations of ‘Double-dip recession’, ‘Losing your job’, and ‘House reposession’ on their gravel drives if not given appropriate treats.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2011
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Golgo13

BBC presenters aghast as trader pours scorn on efforts to save the red squirrel

For the second day running, an outspoken City trader left interviewers open-mouthed as he admitted that traders ‘don’t really care that much’ about the prospect of red squirrel extinction in the UK either, and that rescue packages being put together to bail it out were ‘doomed’.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2011
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