Obama’s new limo ‘pimped’ by MTV
Presidential limo has flames painted all over the bodywork
Posted: Jan 4th, 2010
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Other stories by Jay Gee
Village to close after contributing nothing to local Tesco
‘It’s no good being sentimental about these things.’
Posted: Dec 9th, 2009
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McDonalds to launch ‘Unhappy Meal’ for binge eaters
Fast food giant McDonalds has announced plans to launch a meal for the depressed and desperate aimed specifically at people who comfort eat. The Unhappy Meal comes in a very large recyclable bag with reinforced handles and consists of five normal hamburgers, five normal cheeseburgers, three Big Macs, eight Chicken McNuggets, four litres of coke, fanta or sprite, four McFlurries, an apple pie and a free toy.
Posted: Sep 21st, 2009
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Jubilation as Yoda finally passes GCSE English
Inhabitants from all over the star system were celebrating last night after it emerged that Yoda had overcome his demons and passed an exam in GCSE English. The pint-sized Jedi had long struggled to formulate sentences properly, meaning that he had failed the test aimed at 16 year olds no less than 728 times.
Posted: Sep 9th, 2009
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‘Little Miss Muffet is a cheating crack whore’ claims spider
The spider involved in the Little Miss Muffet incident has spoken for the first time about what actually occurred between them. The nursery rhyme, which is well known around the world, apparently tells the story of an innocent girl who is frightened away by a spider. The reality is very different. ‘She is a lying cheating bitch,’ claims the spider, ’she was one of my girls, if you know what I mean, and she owes me money. I was only trying to recover what I am owed, and to get back some of my drugs. She wasn’t even eating curds and whey, who would eat whey? It is a disgusting by-product of cheese manufacture. No, she was about to snort a massive line of coke and when I appeared she ran to avoid paying me. Last I heard she was turning tricks in Manchester, but I’ll find her.’
Posted: Aug 29th, 2009
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